why are people always trying to steal my cabs?

by sam on 07/31/2008

This sort of crap happens to me all the time, but tonight I actually stood up for myself.  Usually, in an attempt to avoid confrontation, I end up ceding my rightfully hailed taxi to some aggressive asshole and end up standing on a streetcorner for an extra 20 minutes in the middle of the night trying to flag down another one.

Went to the Aimee Mann concert with some folks from work, which was awesome (although my secret wish that she’d start playing stuff from her ’til tuesday days didn’t come to fruition).  On our way out, there was obviously a big crowd.  a few of the guys decided to walk, but my boss and I needed cabs.  So he goes out into the street and hails two – he’s going to grand central and I’m going to the upper west side, and, being on the corner of 10th avenue and 16th street, sharing really isn’t a sensible option.  I’m designated with the first cab, but a crowd of morons decides to run and try to steal the cab from me.  Upon my “excuse me, that’s my cab”, they’re all “oh, we thought you two were together”.  Nope.  nice assumption though, even though the person I’m with very clearly hailed two cabs.  not my problem, right?  So I go to open the cab door, except that one of the morons refuses to get out of the way.  So when I open the cab door it bangs into him.  Again, any sensible person would, you know, see me attempting to get into the cab and move.  He, of course, doesn’t move, and starts yelling at me, at which point even the cab driver is all “just get into the cab so I can get away from this crazy jerk”.  Of course, said moron/asshole proceeds to grab onto the door, after I’m already sitting in the cab, so I can’t close it. Working out with a trainer is very handy when needing to wrest taxi doors from pseudo-hipster assholes who clearly lift nothing more than cigarettes, so I very easily yank the door out of his hand and close it, at which point the cab driver immediately auto-locks the doors, because he’s also worried about this guy.

Who then proceeds to start banging on the car door with his umbrella.  Because damaging the taxi is certainly the appropriate way to teach me whatever lesson about aggressive male posturing that he seemed to think I needed to learn.  Needless to say, the cab driver threatened to run over his foot unless he backed the fuck away from the taxi.  We then proceeded to have a very pleasant conversation while he drove me home.  

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