very simple

Ahh, Rockefeller Center at Christmastime. There’s nothing quite like working half a block away from every single tourist to visit the city at this time of year (well, except actually working at Rock Ctr, like one of my best friends does). It’s like they’ve never seen a tree before.

This is the time of year when us "natives" (or "sort of" natives) start getting treated like tourist attractions in our own right. I got told to move in four different languages last week while waiting for the bus (To be fair, the bus stop is in the direct line of site for the gift-wrapped Cartier flagship store). Oh, and two weeks ago I ended up being the photographer for a group of extremely drunk irish tourists. That was fun (actually, it was kind of amusing, and since I was waiting for a friend, I had time). But I couldn’t understand a damn thing they were saying, even though they were clearly speaking english. Luckily, I was perceptive enough to figure out that they wanted Radio City Music Hall in the background.

But this is the time of year when the crowds near my office become pretty much unbearable. For any tourists who actually read this, I’ll reiterate something I’ve said before: Have some cognizance of the fact that the people who live and work here actually live and work here. We don’t have time to tiptoe behind you while you meander slowly, four across, down the sidewalk. The only window display you are supposed to stop and look at is Saks Fifth Avenue, and if you want to look at that display, please get in the carefully provided line indicated by the very obvious velvet rope they set up. It’s there for a reason. Trust me when I say that you’re not the first person to think of taking a picture pretending to "hold up", or lean against the Empire State Building from the opposite corner. Or the Flatiron building.

If you’re going to a show? please do not eat at the Olive Garden. or Red Lobster. really. You came all the way to New York City. Break out of your comfort zone a little bit. And don’t complain about the prices. You knew it was expensive before you planned the trip. Unless, of course, you’ve been forced at gunpoint to pay for a meal at Alaine Ducasse. That’s expensive. You can go down to Chelsea and visit my friend Vinnie’s restaurant, and get a decent meal for a reasonable price (and hey, the second to last time I was there? so was Daniel Day Lewis, dressed remarkably like a bike messenger – I’m embarrassed to say that my dad recognized him before I did).

And now I’m rambling a bit. and a bit off track. Other hints? read the bus route before you get on the bus. While I do find it endlessly amusing when people start freaking out on the M1 when it turns down 40th street (instead of going straight down 5th Avenue), the big neon electric sign on the front of the bus that says "via Park Ave South", should be a bit of a clue. And yelling at the driver that he’s going the wrong way? Really isn’t going to win you any points. When trying to orient yourself in the Madison-Park-Lexington part of town? Remember that Park is essentially 4th Avenue. Madison and Lexington are "extra", and fall on either side of Park. Actually, pick up John Tauranac’s Manhattan Block by Block. It’s the handiest book I’ve ever owned. Tauranac redesigned the NYC subway maps a few decades ago, making them readable, and he’s been doing the same for the rest of NYC ever since.

That’s all for now. But maybe you’ll get to see our mayor in a silly hat. Apparently he’s fond of them.

Tags: bitching, new york city